pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize