3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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