so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize