I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
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Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
All the doctor said was why
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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