dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize