God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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