It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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