just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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