She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
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