we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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