love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
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he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
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If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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