I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize