you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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