I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
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