he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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