My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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