You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize