So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize