The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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