the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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