Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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