I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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