dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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