There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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