So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
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