If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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