good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
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Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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