Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
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Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
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I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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