I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize