So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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