It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
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You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
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Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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