There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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