i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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