you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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