you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
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and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
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I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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