some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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