i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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