I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
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you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
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Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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