you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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