Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
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We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
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I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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