$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
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she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
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Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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