You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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