listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize