What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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