More tranny stories later!
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
