No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize