so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
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i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
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Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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