apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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