there was a trapeze. enough said
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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