he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize