i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize